Dealing with evangelical Christians the Hindu way

About six months ago there was a knock on my door and I opened it to find two evangelical Christians there.

I knew they were evangelicals because they had that fake friendly smile on their faces, which all evangelicals have when they are trying to convert someone.

This was the third time that month that evangelists had come knocking on my door and disturbing me so I decided to teach them a lesson.

Good morning’ they said. ‘Good morning’ I replied.

‘Have you heard about the Lord Jesus Christ’? they asked.

‘I know something about him but I am a Hindu and I’m not really interested in knowing more’ I said. But like all evangelists, they took no notice of my wishes and proceeded to talk about their beliefs.

So I said, ‘I don’t think you are qualified to speak to me about Jesus’. They looked very astonished and asked, ‘Why not’? ‘Because’, I said, ‘you have no faith’. ‘Our faith in Jesus is as strong as a rock’ they insisted. ‘I don’t think it is’ I said with a smile.

'Please open your Bible and read the Gospel of Mark, chapter 16, verse 16, 17 and 18′ I said and while they flicked through their Bibles I went quickly inside and came out again.

One of them found the passage and I asked him to read it out loud.

It said, ‘He who believes and is baptized will be saved but he who does not believe shall be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe in my name. They shall cast out devils, they shall speak in tongues, they will handle snakes and if they drink poison it will not hurt them and they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover’.

When he finished I said, ‘In that passage Jesus says that if you have real faith you will be able to drink poison and not die’.

I took a bottle of liquid detergent from behind my back, held it up and said, ‘Here is some poison. Demonstrate to me the strength of your faith and I will listen to anything you have to say about Jesus’.

You should have seen the looks on their faces!

They didn’t know what to say.

'What’s the problem’? I asked. ‘Is your faith not strong enough’?

They hesitated for a few moments and then one of them replied, ‘The Bible also says that we must not test God’.

‘I’m not testing God’, I said, ‘I’m testing you.

You love to witness for Jesus and now is your big opportunity’.

Finally one of then said, ‘We will go and speak to our pastor about this matter and come back and see you.

‘I’ll be waiting for you’ I said as they scurried away. Of course they never came back again.

Here is a bit of advice.

Keep a copy of this Bible reference - Gospel of Mark,
chapter 16,
verses 16, 17 and 18′
- and a bottle of detergent ready and every time the evangelists come to your door to harass ...

Do give them this test.

What the fck mate, is this guy fcking serious? Are you on crack haha! No I don't want to drink your fcking detergent. Hardly. That's not the point Vivek. Look, I proved the bloody Bible through a roll of dice. So, if you’re hanging your hat on that possibility, then you’re every bit as much as committed to a faith position as the person who says you should read your bloody Bible, more closely. Its not as far as a stretch to learn to read for yourself the KJV. My opinion, blimey. I don't want to talk about God, but the Almighty isn't a looney, bloody wa-nky So sod off mate and suck a cock.

Jesus Christ rose from the bloody grave. For a believer, it's not only rational, its a perfectly reasonable conclusion.

And if sex is a pain in your ass, then you're doing it wrong cuz anal sex is for as-sholes.

That's not the point Vivek. Look, I proved the bloody Bible through a roll of dice.
Vj ~ It seems it doesn't take much to burst your bubble Alex. Are you pis-sed with Vivek or with Mark 16:16-18?
"I have examined all the known superstitions of the word, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology. Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make one half the world fools and the other half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the earth." Thomas Jefferson

Arseholes, I say your wasting everybody's time and money..., bloody he-ll, mate, I read the bloody Bible. Vijai, sod off, arsehole. Vivek, you're a bloody wa-nky. This is like foreplay for fags. When studying the Bible which is the word of the Almighty, we will discover Jesus Christ, our Lord, and the Savior.

Oh, children, did you know masterbating makes your dicks smaller. Aye, so you see over here in Australia, we watch out for pee pee illness (i.e. little dicky). Like the giant kangaroo who bangs your mommy till you get sodomized for Christmas. Believe me. Asians have really fast internet. Africans don't.

bloody he-ll, mate, I read the bloody Bible.
Vj ~ I know you did, so which one are you, a fool or a hypocrite?

Some people say that human existence is a role of some cosmic dice. Like the gambler who stakes his life savings on the next throw, we just got lucky in the lottery of life. Some people say there’s no purpose in the universe. No grand plan. No God behind it all. But I don’t believe them and nor should you. Okay that’s pretty unlikely but it’s possible, right?

So, let’s imagine if I went ahead and rolled this dice 70 times and what do you know, every time it came up as 6 and no waiting for trillions and trillions upon trillions of years. First time. Beginner’s luck? Hardly. You would assume that I must have rigged it. Maybe the dice are loaded or maybe there are 6s’ on every side. It can’t be chance. Now let me ask you. Why would we assume that this universe with us in it, which is actually way more improbable then my 70 rolls is just a result of chance? The fact that we’re here shows that someone’s loaded the dice. In fact, maybe there’s no dice at all.

So, if you’re hanging your hat on that possibility, then you’re every bit as much as committed to a faith position as the person who says God was behind it all. For me, believing in God isn’t a delusion. It ’s a perfectly reasonable conclusion. Well that’s worth staking something on. There you have it. I’ve proven God over a roll of the dice.

Some neurochemists insist on this illusion of superiority of the human body through means of natural selection. To them, the idea is perceived like a reflection on a mirror, as if we’re the center of the cosmos. What are these people thinking? If God really created us, then we are not mere patches of our DNA and death is not an awakening of reality but a temporary pause in the human experience. For atheists, life’s a professional doubt that leaves them puzzled. So we task ourselves to ask the big question, is there a God, or in other words, a designer?

It is true that death comes in a whisper. In fact, our neural network almost passes it up like a biochemical flash. They say they're certain that there's is no life after death. But I don't relish the thought of reducing the complexly of the human body to physiological functions. You may call it direct consolation but I like to think there’s certain evidence for religion or spirituality at best. Though we took a step forward in assuming there's a designer, we haven’t yet covered the validity of this claim. Is the concept of a designer an absolute as in quantum physics? We know physicist try to study science or natural law. They struggle to discover the world around us, to explain the unexplainable. To embark in unknown planetary systems. I say they're wasting everybody's time and money. Because existence, if designed is intangible. Its almost Newtonian to think like that.

Searching for the mysterious has always fascinated us but where do we point the telescope? Perhaps we aim it at the stars. But I like to place it somewhere else. I like to point it towards the Bible. The good book, countless pages long, holy in substances, even high-end electron microscopes have failed to penetrate His infinite wisdom. In short, it is the foundation of everything we know. If deeply explored, it is the tenet of all our morals, society, agriculture, principles and if you dare say civilization. It was a complete flop from a sufficient materialistic point of view but from a believer, it's not only rational, its a perfectly reasonable conclusion, given the groundbreaking science and scope of knowledge it has provided us. So we are a fine point of divine particles designed by a Creator. I dare say we haven't lost contact with our formal ancestors and if we just peered through its pages hard enough we might find what we're looking for. That death is not the end. That in Jesus Christ, we are saved. Now I ask you, or better yet, ask yourself. Have you been saved?

No grand plan. No God behind it all.
Vj ~ Well, with all that you have written here, it is quite simple for me to determine you're a hypocrite (preacher) and not a fool (listener).
It as been well said by a poet, "The selfish when blinded by self-interest mistakes diabolical deeds for good actions, and are not alive to their sinful character."

For me, believing in God isn’t a delusion. It ’s a perfectly reasonable conclusion
Vj ~ Maybe it is, but you still have a huge problem, whose God is true? And I can tell you this much, if you don't know what your God was doing before this creation, you're in deep shi-t.

We know physicist try to study science or natural law.
Vj ~ And they are on the right track! Even though modern science is lame, it helps in someways to view the universe in a more rational way, and naturals laws, which they have only a dim understanding of, to validate a fact.

"Science without religion is lame and religion without science is blind." Albert Einstein. - This means all religions, except one, are completely blind.

"We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws." Albert Einstein. And today scientists do not have much of an understanding when it comes to the laws of nature.

Now I ask you, or better yet, ask yourself. Have you been saved?
Vj ~ Yes I am saved, but you're not. It is an injustice to deprive millions born before and in remote regions who never heard of Christ's promise of salvation.

Oh God Almighty. Sod off mate. Jesus saves. Look, Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas.

For a believer, it's not only rational, its a perfectly reasonable conclusion to believe in the bloody Bible. Where will YOU spend for eternity, heaven or hell?

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16

Jesus saves.
Vj ~ What about those before and in remote regions who never heard of Christ?

Look, Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes
Vj ~ In those days people were so backward they didn't even know a whale was a mammal.

That's not a miracle.
Vj ~ Right, it was stupidity!

For a believer, it's not only rational, its a perfectly reasonable conclusion to believe in the bloody Bible.
Vj ~ It is better to an atheist (full of doubt) than a hypocrite (cocksure).
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell

Where will YOU spend for eternity, heaven or hell?
Vj ~ Neither exist! What would you being doing in heaven for all eternity? Seems pretty boring!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16
Vj ~ A God who had no love for his own son (crucified), cannot love the world.
I asked again, what was your God doing before this creation?

Sod off, arsehole. Your a bloody w-anky Almighty God decides what is true. I don't care what God does, I don't fcking know, d-amn it. Look, I am very rich.

When you think about it, how much do we really know compared to God. In essence, you know nothing. After all, how much is something compared to an infinite amount? There you got a problem. In the late 60's and 70's we arrived at a conclusion in a kind of respectfully, fearless, dispelling way, that God was on our side.

Believing in God is quite a reasonable conclusion. Jesus was a Jew. So ask yourself, are you saved in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Sod off, arsehole. Your a bloody w-anky Almighty God decides what is true.
Vj ~ Man, what kind of a faith do you have where even an "arsehole" can pis-s you off. Now you have to drink poison to show the world how great it is instead.

I don't fcking know, d-amn it.
Vj ~ I understand it is no big deal you don't know, but it is a travesty when your God is the one who doesn't know.

Look, I am very rich.
Vj ~ Hopefully you don't think it is because of Christ. Then you would have to explain why there are more poor Christians in the world than rich ones.

In essence, you know nothing
Vj ~ So what is the difference? Your God doesn't know what he was doing before this creation.

Believing in God is quite a reasonable conclusion.
Vj ~ Is that why you're cocksure?
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell

Jesus was a Jew. So ask yourself, are you saved in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Vj ~ Again, he is a dumb ass who doesn't know anything of the past. So how are you saved? More so, prove me wrong and drink the poison.

Namaste Dr Vivek Arya,

I have read your story about those Christians who have been knocking on your door.

I give you high applause for that.
...and thank you for the great advice...,I will certainly challenge them Christians the same if they ever comes knocking on my door again.
The last time someone came knocking on my door were the Jehovah witnesses, I looked through the door peephole but did not open the door to them as I always do,but after reading your story I will certainly open the door if they come knocking on my door again and challenge them the same way you have done.

Thank you ,

Namaste,

Dean.

Namaste Deanji,
Welcome to my message boards!
Actually you can't win with Christians. When they're cornered they will tell you we must not take the Bible literal.

The truth is God has no cure for a fool.

Take care,
Namaste.

Thankyou Vijaiji for welcoming me on your message boards.

Namaste,
Dean.