Greg wrote: Maybe there will come a time you do some research and discover the true nature of male on male rape. You will find out that the person getting raped is so scared that they escape in their heads, shock sets in and you try not to believe it is happening.

Hi,
I know this post is two years old - but thought I would put my two cents in - any way.

My Dad once told me that in life - we have to take the good with the bad and make the best of it. That is a hard thing to do sometimes. Especially involving a situation as you describe it.

I feel I walked away for JI with the best memories in my mind. Not to say - there wasn't bad moments. Like you say - most of us tend to bury those moments in an effort to move forward.

When I was young - I dealt with a situation in my life where I was dealing with teenaged runaways. There was a great deal of trauma associated with an authoritive figure taking advantage of a young mind. I was still active (on the side) with that issue prior to taking the job assignment on JI. (In 1988, I was a manager of a halfway house dealing with homeless men from the age of 18 to 25.) Many of them were recoverying from the type of trauma you give testimony to.

When I did accept the job offer at JI - I felt I was taking a break from 10 years of dealing with young men opening up to me and telling me of their abuse.

If you study percentages involving this type of "sexual abuse" - it happens every where. I am sorry to hear that your experience on JI involved this type of abuse.

My advise is to seek professional help and reach out to the type of ears and minds that will have empathy for your situation. I don't think a public forum like this is going to provide you with the support you need. There are other web sites on the Internet that has members who have a like mind like yours. Find the people who understand your needs in the moment.

Friends and family ( in my memory of my experiences dealing with this type of sitution) are not equiped to deal with this type of situation. I feel you need to reach out to new friends who understand your emotional needs in the moment.

After 10 years of experience dealing with this - I watched a movie titled "Good Will Hunting." I thought those two had to have dealt with the subject matter directly to have written such a screenplay.

In this type of situaton - the first mode of mind - is to blame oneself.

Why?

In the case of 'sexual abuse' - the body has a mind of it's own. In the case of "forced physical activity" - the body is going to feel pleasure. Afterwards - the mind is going to start tap dances on the head - because the mind is going to be lost sorting out the 'pleasure principle' involved.

In the movie "Good Will Hunting" - I feel the writers left out the "sexual abuse" due to politics and public opinion. If your a true survivor of this type of abuse - you can see the parables and metaphors.

"IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!"

Stop blaming yourself for what happened - and stop trying to blame someone else. Move one with your life.

Find the right expression of love for you and let go of the past.

Live in the now - and live for the future.

You can't change the past.

Accept it and let go.

That is my advice from 10 years working with this type of situation in young men's lives.

I wish you well my friend.

Sincerely,
David King

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