| Subject: |
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Two Cows |
| Name: |
|
Caboose |
| Date Posted: |
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Aug 10, 04 - 12:59 PM |
| Message: |
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DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell both to support
a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from
your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the other, pays you
for the milk, and then pours the milk down the
drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an
IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an
announcement to
the analysts stating you have down sized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to
travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top
of their class at cow
school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles
an hour.
Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they
are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are
two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private
parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them
up while they were in
the hospital.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go in hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best,
vote for the black
one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote
for neither. Some
people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys
from
out-of-state tell you which is the best looking
cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big tits. |
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MOO by Master of the Obvious · Aug 12, 04 - 2:29 PM
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